Helicopter Parents or Drones?

As teachers, counselors, and school administrators we have seen the extremes in parental responsibility. On one end are parents that are never seen. They do not come to school activities. They neglect to attend parent-teacher conferences. They have little to do with their children’s’ schooling. On the other end are those parents who challenge every grade below an A, question every decision made by a coach and at every turn run interference for their children’s’ school lives. While they believe that that are helping ensure their sons and daughters success in school, they are, in fact hampering their children’s ability to make decisions or to deal with adversity.

In a recent Washington Post article, the dean of freshmen at Stanford University observed that “overhelping” has provided students with a disability that could hamper their success in life. Reports are surfacing that show an increase in depression, suicides, and mental disorders from children of helicopter parents. At some point, parents need to let children learn to think and succeed on their own. (Although some parents have gone as far as going with their children to their first job interview).

Those of us in the education profession need to learn how to deal with helicopter parents, trying to convince them that while it important to be engaged in the success of their children, hovering too much or too often can have negative effects.

C.2015 J. Margolis